Two Important Questions
TWO IMPORTANT QUESTIONS TO ASK IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES: WHAT DON’T I KNOW? WHAT IS WANTED OF ME?
I learned something fascinating recently: in Chinese medicine the pericardium meridian is a Channel Pathway from an acupuncture point at the site of the middle finger directly to the pericardium, the outer lining of the heart. In western medicine we know that the pericardium provides the heart with physical protection. What I didn’t know was that the energy of the pericardium also protects the heart from damage and disruption by excessive emotional energies generated by the other organs, such as anger from the liver, fear from the kidneys, and grief from the lungs. In the Chinese system of health, extreme outbursts of the Seven Emotions are regarded as powerful disruptors of internal energy balance and major causes of disease. Without the pericardium to protect it, the heart would be subject to injury from the radical fluctuations in energy caused by every emotional up and down of the day.
Did you know all that? I certainly did not. Where that leads me is to a very humble position of wondering about the myriad things, knowledge, truths, I know nothing about. I am overwhelmed just turning my attention to the subject.
In 1967 I played the lead role in a low budget film shot on location in New York City. My husband Dick played in the film with me and when it was completed we were eager for its debut. The producer had tried to sell the psychological thriller to television and when that effort failed, he changed the names of the cast members, without permission, and added porno scenes. These scenes diminished the quality of the original story and turned the film into something distasteful.
Dick and I traveled to New Jersey to see the film and went together to a porno house where men sat with raincoats covering their laps. For me, it was a devastating experience. Not long after that I suffered heart disease which took me out of commission for six weeks and on limited activity for six months. The disease was named pericarditis. The cardiologist called it an inflammation of the pericardium caused by a virus.
Had I known, at the time, to ask the all-important question: what don’t I know (?) I might have embarked on a quest which would have taken me beyond western medicine, which was the only thing I knew and had access to at the time, to Chinese medicine and an Eastern approach to the physical body and its healing.
What I learned recently is that the pericardium has a powerful influence on a patient's mental and emotional states. Its goal is to "create feelings of joy and/or pleasure for the emperor (Heart)." Conversely, when the patient is deeply wounded emotionally in heart or soul, dis-ease has quick access to the heart center, to the pericardium. That is precisely what occurred in my body in 1968.
If I had known that I had wounded my own heart with an emotional blast, I might have explored other paths to facilitate my healing. Although I was completely ignorant of Chinese medicine, I might, for example, have ventured into meditation to reestablish a sense of calm and quiet to my heart. This could have shortened my recovery period and more quickly rebuilt my thoroughly diminished physical strength.
While I am alerted and informed by this threading together of a previous condition with insights born of exposure to the wisdom in Chinese medicine, I am deeply stirred to realize how many areas of life and experience are embroidered into this enormous life tapestry. I knew none of it back then at age 29. I was astonishingly ignorant. What if we looked at all conditions this way, if we opened ourselves to all the possibilities at our disposal. It opens a tremendous vista.
What I know today, after my spiritual breakthrough to Cosmic Consciousness in 1969, is that everything and everyone is connected in a Grand Oneness and everything and everyone has an effect on All That Is, whether we know it or not. When we send forth joy we have the opportunity to lift spirits because the joy sends for forth energy which is far reaching. Similarly, when we send forth hate or anger, we impact the whole through the energy world. When we block energy flow in ourselves we open the way to dis-ease. When nations block energy flow through embargoes or non-recognition or resistance, the blocked energy affects those nations as much as those toward whom the block is directed. To block, to stop, to put up barriers is just that: to block, to stop, to stop the flow of life force.
Perhaps, like me, you are guilty of this form of subtle destruction on a monthly, weekly, or daily basis. It makes me sigh. I know better and yet it is so easy for me to slip. The slightest antagonism leads to a rough road internally and externally. I have seen this time and again when I create stress, even subtle stress.
I am back to “I yield.” “I surrender.” Having said and done that, I need to ask the next question: What is wanted of me? In the big picture “what is wanted” is that I function consciously in every moment, that I make choices that open the energy flow.
I must laugh: “function consciously in every moment.” That is easier said than done. But perhaps that is my new life purpose at this advanced age of 76. It used to be “to serve the creative process.” That’s a fine purpose but not nearly as important as choosing to function consciously in every moment. If I can practice that, I can also serve the creative process.
As I set out to practice this, I must remind myself that asking the two important questions, what don’t I know (?) and what is wanted of me (?), does not guarantee that I will receive immediate answers. I need to be patient, to wait, to listen, to take tiny steps that become evident to me. And those steps will become evident if I am, in fact, functioning consciously. It is not a matter of when, but rather that they will emerge.
Back in 1969 and 1970 when I went to “classes” in my sleep, I learned profound truths and extraordinary wisdom. I watched as “I” tumbled through levels of consciousness to an awake state and when I arrived and opened my eyes, I knew that I had “been profoundly taught” but I could not remember what I had learned. I knew I would know (it was not a matter of when, but rather that I would know) when I was ready to embody what I had learned. I am surprised that I knew that back then, but I did and I am glad. The opportunity arose during the fight between students in the high school where I taught and I stepped in. I stepped up to the plate, so to speak, and offered myself up as a carrier of love energy that would bring peace to that confrontation. It was just after that that I saw and recorded The Love Principles and brought them into being.
As I write, I try to imagine what the human experience, and indeed the world, would be like if we all functioned consciously, if we asked “what don’t I know (?)” and if we wondered and yielded to what is wanted of us. Perhaps that is the next step up for the human race.
I have an image of us all lifting our heads out of the thick clouds of beliefs and opinions, peeking beyond the world of illusion, and seeing degrees of Light and Finer Frequencies known now only to avatars and those of us who have had momentary breakthroughs. To get there we need to be conscious so that we can greet that Light and merge with it rather be blinded by too much glory and bliss.
I am holding the image, preparing myself. I am willing. I hope I am one of many. I want to live in that Illumined State I discovered so long ago and have occasionally touched throughout the years.